Transformers 2

Yesterday I survived 2 ½ hours of Transformers.
I think there was a mix-up in distribution. If this is not the Director’s Cut then I am afraid to see what scenes were cut out. Prep for movie: No need to worry about walking away to go to the bathroom or get popcorn. I left to get a soda during one scene. I was gone for a full 15 minutes and they were still in the same scene I had left.
I had hope for this movie because it started out good with the original characters returning and Shia heading off to college. The story is about Deception forces that return to Earth on a mission to take Sam Witwicky, Shia LaBeouf prisoner, after the young hero learns the truth about the ancient origins of the Transformers. That was a mouthful, and do you care? Not much. Most of the buzz from the guys waiting online to get in to see the show was about Megan Fox. Michael Bay does an excellent job of showcasing her assets. She does not have that many lines but in every scene her makeup I perfect and her lips are slightly parted, even when see is running in the desert. Bay also brings in a competitor for Megan so that there is enough eye candy during this poor edited mess.
The problem with this movie is that it takes itself too seriously. This is a summer movie and it should go down easy, be fun, and make you forget about the heat outside. But it doesn’t, I kept daydreaming about everything but the movie. Julie White was excellent as Shia’s mom in the first Transformers but in Fallen her act wear thin.

Verdict: If you have 2+ hrs. to waste and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing else in the theaters you want to see, then still don’t go see this movie.

Is the Hangover Really That Funny?

Thursday, June 18, 2009
From OC Register
Barry Koltnow

You're probably losing sleep over concerns about how you're going to pay the rent, put your kids through school and survive your retirement years.

But, in Hollywood, all they're talking about is "The Hangover."

They're spending sleepless nights trying to figure out how this bachelor-party-in-Vegas comedy became the surprise hit of the summer.

This is even a bigger topic of conversation than the David Letterman-Sarah Palin controversy.

I, too, have wondered about "The Hangover," but I'm certainly not staring at my bedroom ceiling trying to come up with an answer.

But I don't own a movie studio. Those who do can talk about nothing else these days. And I have a pretty good idea of how these conversations might sound.

I should warn you that I have no proof that the following conversation ever took place. But, if I had any money left after my recent work furlough, I'd bet that it did.

STUDIO EXECUTIVE NUMBER ONE: Do you have the answer?

STUDIO EXECUTIVE NUMBER TWO: What answer?

ONE: The answer to the question that all of Hollywood is asking.

TWO: Why Eddie Murphy keeps getting jobs?

ONE: No, not that one.

TWO: How did two movies about mall cops get released at the same time?

ONE: No, not that one.

TWO : Why William Shatner didn't get a cameo in the new "Star Trek" movie?

ONE: No, not that one. The other one.

TWO: Oh, "The Hangover" question.

ONE: Of course. It's the only question that matters. We must find out the secret to its success because it's easier to copy other people's successes than to come up with our own original ideas.

TWO: It's how Hollywood works.

ONE: Exactly. So, do you have the answer?

TWO: I've watched the movie 132 times, and I can't pin it down. There are no bankable stars in it, and the funniest part of the movie happens during the final credits when people are walking out of the theater. It doesn't make sense. I'm so confused.

ONE: Any possible answers?

TWO: At first, I thought it might be Mike Tyson. He was pretty funny in the movie, although he does sucker punch one of the main characters. That was kind of thuggish, and I don't think we want to start sucker-punching our stars for the sake of comedy.

ONE: I agree. And I don't think it was Tyson. His documentary has made less money than I've got in my wallet right now, so I don't think people are clamoring to the multiplex to see Mike Tyson.

TWO: Then I thought it might be the blue tuxedoes. Everybody thinks blue tuxedoes are funny.

ONE: Sure, but are blue tuxedoes alone worth a $10 movie ticket? I don't think so.

TWO: I know you're right. I was desperate. I also thought it might be the tiger.

ONE: Trust me, it's not the tiger. Chimpanzees and orangutans are box-office gold, not tigers. Study your Hollywood history.

TWO: Sorry about that. What about Heather Graham? What guy doesn't love Roller Girl? And she exposes her breast.

ONE: A very sexy image, but not really funny. Naked isn't funny. What else have you got?

TWO: What about the setting? Who doesn't like to look at Las Vegas in a movie?

ONE: I'd go along with that theory, but people are staying away from Vegas. I don't think they miss it so much that they need to look at it nostalgically in a movie.

TWO: Some people are still going to Las Vegas.

ONE: They're gamblers. They don't go to the movies. What else?

TWO: What about the bachelor party theme?

ONE: Two words – Tom Hanks.

TWO: You didn't like "Bachelor Party?"

ONE: It doesn't matter whether I liked it. It wasn't funny. We're trying to find out why "The Hangover" was funny.

TWO: Maybe it wasn't really funny.

ONE: What do you mean?

TWO: Maybe it wasn't the story or the setting or the stars. Maybe it was the idea of "The Hangover."

ONE: Have you been taking philosophy courses at the Learning Annex?

TWO: No, hear me out. What if "The Hangover" wasn't funny at all, but its success could be tied to a brilliant promotional campaign that tricked people into thinking it was funny?

ONE: You've got my attention. Please go on.

TWO: What if the marketing guys at the studio came up with a brilliant plan to make people believe they were going to laugh. So when people walked into the theater, they were already primed to laugh.

ONE: Those marketing guys must be geniuses.

TWO: That's what I'm thinking.

ONE: So our movies don't have to be funny; we just need to fool people into thinking they're funny.

TWO: This is so much easier than making a funny movie.

ONE: I'm laughing all the way to the bank.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

Denzel does it again and proves why he is a 2 time Oscar winner.
Taking of Pelham not only showcases Denzel’s talents but John Travolta’s as well.
Denzel stars as New York City subway dispatcher Walter Garber, whose ordinary day is thrown into chaos by the hijacking of a subway train
The original 1974 movie was not a big box office success but the acting was top notch with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw and the ending was one of the most memorable ones of all the movies made during the 70s.
No need to see the original to enjoy this new version. Tony Scott pairs well with Denzel and action (see 2004 Man on Fire). It was great to see Tony Soprano on the screen again (James Gandolfini) playing the mayor of NYC. He is missed and I pray that HBO makes a Sapronos movie to tie up loose ends (like the Russian that escaped in the snow in the Pine Needles episode).
Back to Pelham. I love when Travolta says the MotherF word throughout the movie with such relish. John Travolta was nominated early in his career for Saturday Night Fever. When he lost his mother told him it was a good thing because he wouldn’t have anything to look forward to. Well John does an awesome job and during the movie you forget that he is Travolta.

Verdict: Solid remake. Definitely go see it and rent the original and watch it on a rainy day.

The Hangover

Take the Wedding Crashers and and Old School and you have The Hangover.
My teenage daughter told me she laughed throughout the movie, I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of laughs in this movie but my expectations were very high due to the excellent trailer that was shown in theaters months before the movie opened.
You have seen this movie before in various versions. The story is about three groomsmen who lose their about-to-be-wed buddy during their drunken misadventures in Vegas.
Bradley Cooper, the crazy fiance from Wedding Crashers, takes on the Vince Vaughn leading man role and does an ok job. There is a baby in the movie that has the cooliest expressions. I was wondering if some of the expressions were CGI. Also Mike Tyson makes a great appearance, but it is Zach Galifianakis as “Fat Jesus” who steals the movie. Every few years there is a fat comedian that comes on the scene and makes millions, John Belushi, John Candy, Chris Farley, and Artie Lang from the Howard Stern show. Look for big things from Zach. The teenagers sitting behind me in the theater had already seen the movie so I expect this movie to make tons of scratch.

Verdict: Good movie, you will laugh however the editing could have been crisper. Lots of slow periods to go to the bathroom and get food. Best creative part was how they ended the movie.

UP

I didn’t want to go and see UP because I felt that there would not be much of a story of an old man that goes up in the sky in his house via balloons.
I was wrong. There is a story and you will find it heart warming even though these are fictional characters.
The story is about, 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen (played by Ed Asner from the old Mary Tyler Moore show) and how he sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream to see the wilds of South America. A young boy named Russell joins him on his adventure.
The music used in the telling of Carl’s early life with his wife is reminiscent of a Charlie Chaplin silent movie and it works in making you feel for Carl as he goes off on his adventure.
Ed Asner surprisingly still has some acting chops left in him.
No need to bring kids to this one, in fact I was the only one in the theater that brought kids and I was trying to make them keep quiet due to all the adults at a children's movie. It’s a very good movie.

Verdict: Pixar gives you your money's worth.

Drag Me To Hell

I am a HUGE fan of Evil Dead and Sam Raimi and that is why I couldn’t wait to see this movie.
HUGE Disappointment!

Raimi lost his touch for horror, he has done an AWESOME job with all the Spiderman movies (I loved 3 even though many people didn’t) but he does nothing new here with horror.
This movie is about a loan officer ordered to evict an old woman from her home and finds herself the recipient of a curse, which turns her life into a living hell. She turns to a seer to try and save her soul. Alison Lohman as the loan officer is perfectly cast and Justin Long (the guy from all the Apple commercials) plays himself, again. This guy seems to do a movie every month. Why does he still do Apple commercials? His ass is probably tied to an iron clad contract. Anyway the movie could have been a Creepshow or Twilight Zone episode. It reminded me of The Stephen King 1996 movie Thinner, where a gypsy curses a fat guy to lose weight regardless of how much he eats.

Verdict: The scariest thing about this movie for me was seeing it in an empty theater. I was the only one in attendance?!? Wait for the midnight showings in order to goof on the flick. I laughed at many scenes. Great title, weak movie. Rent Thinner instead if you have not seen it.